Grace and courtesy lessons are an important part of Montessori education. Just as important is finding plenty of ways to reinforce those lessons. If a child makes a mistake even after being given a lesson on an etiquette rule, there are many ways to reinforce the lesson without needing to correct the child.
You can play various grace and courtesy games at home with your child by adding parents, siblings, friends, dolls, stuffed animals, or puppets as participants. Most of the games can also be used with a large or small group at school.
There are some great manners games that can be purchased also, but the links here are all to free online resources.
Montessori Games to Reinforce Grace and Courtesy
Walking on the Line
Along with most Montessori practical life activities, walking on the line helps children develop the control of movement and concentration that are needed for grace and courtesy. Walking on the line can be done with a line placed in a circle, ellipse, straight line, or almost any shape. The line can be created indoors with a string, jump rope, or electric tape. Outdoors, it can easily be drawn with chalk on cement or can simply be a line drawn in sand. There are numerous variations of the game. A child can even do the classic etiquette exercise of walking with a book balanced on his or her head while walking on the line.
Here are ideas for an outdoor line hunt and walking on the line.
This blog post has ideas for walking on the line for toddlers.
The Silence Game
Maria Montessori started this game by standing at the back of the room and quietly calling the name of each child. The children would have to face forward so they couldn’t read Dr. Montessori’s lips. Each child would quietly walk to Dr. Montessori upon hearing his or her name.
The Silence Game can be used at home or school as Dr. Montessori used it or in a number of variations. You can have children sit as still as possible and listen to the sounds around them. You can hold up a card with the word “Silence” on it, whisper the word “silence,” ring a soft chime, or dim the lights to start the silence game whenever you feel the need for a time of silence.
Games to Reinforce Courtesy in General
Role play courteous responses with parents, siblings, friends, other students, dolls, stuffed animals, or puppets. Role play can be used to reinforce almost any etiquette rule.
Mother, May I works well to reinforce manners.
Mr. Manners Says (or Miss Manners Says or Polite Polly Says) is a variation of Simon Says.
Honey of a Game from Child Fun reinforces please and thank you.
The Wonder Years has an Excuse Me Game.
Examples of Manners Cards for Manners Board Game Cards from Bry-Back Manor
Bry-Back Manor has a Manners Board Game that can be adapted for many ages.
Sunrise Learning Lab uses Kris Kringles to reinforce grace and courtesy during the Christmas season.
Sticks and Stones from To the Lesson! teaches sportsmanship along with math skills.
Games to Reinforce Conversational Skills
The Greeting People Game from Modern Mom helps children learn to start conversations.
Teacher Tom’s compliment chain is a good way to reinforce the practice of giving compliments.
Where Is Thumbkin reinforces polite greetings.
Here are a couple of slightly different versions of the usual “Where Is Thumbkin?” song:
Game to Reinforce Saying Thank You for Presents
Jessie from The Education of Ours has a Gift Receiving Game at Mommy Moment.
Games to Reinforce Table Manners
Table Manners Role Play from Counting Coconuts
Counting Coconuts has table manners role play with stuffed animals.
eHow Home has a post on hosting a manners party.
I have a number of tea party posts and videos with fun ways to practice grace and courtesy.
The Wonder Years has a Please Pass Game.
Little Tiger Growing Up has a Tea Pouring Session.
At Bits of Positivity, I have a post with 20+ Free Printable Manners Cards, Booklets, Charts, and Games.
Manners songs are also a fun way to reinforce manners rules. At Bits of Positivity, I have a post with lots of Free Manners Songs for Home or Classroom.
I have a post at Bits of Positivity with Free Thank-You Songs and Rhymes for Home or School.
I also have a post at Bits of Positivity about how to teach your kids manners and good character through golf.
Have you used a grace and courtesy game to reinforce manners at home or school?
Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy!
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what wonderful resources Deb; thank you for sharing. I never realised I was doing one of these anyway, because I frequently used to ‘pretend not to hear’ until I was spoken to with respect 😉
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Mrs Green! Pretending not to hear is an effective technique! 🙂
Thank you. We do use role play a LOT here and I’ve seen how powerful it is. I don’t know much about Montessori but I’m inspired by this post and a quick look around your blog to learn more.
Thanks, Hannah! Role play is definitely a great technique for reinforcing manners! And I’m so glad to hear my post was helpful! 🙂
I have since called our local Montessori pre-school for an application for when my daughter turns 3 next year 🙂
Awesome, Hannah! Let me know what happens! 🙂
I just wanted to say thank you again for the advice. It’s been a month now and NO tears from my son. Because of you I get what people mean when they say let them learn through play =)
Thanks, Crisc! I’m SO GLAD to hear that! 🙂
I love, love, love the walk the line game – I’m teaching a class this quarter on gross motor games – we’ll definitely incorporate that into our rotation! Thank you for all of the links – so much to check out!
Thanks, Dionna! Walking on the line is wonderful – and has so many variations to keep it interesting! 🙂
These are great – thanks for sharing. We already play many of these and I cannot wait to start some others. We have a similar “Silence Game” that I like to use and a “whisper game” for when we wait in waiting rooms, banks etc!
Thanks so much for your kind comment! Whisper games are wonderful! In fact, one of my best techniques when teaching was to get laryngitis (non-contagious kind) that only allowed me to whisper for a day or two! 🙂
These are all such great ways to teach manners and courteousness! I remember as a Girl Scout, we did a number of these, leading up to an Etiquette Dinner. To this day, I still know which is my salad fork and how to make polite conversation. : ) Thanks!
Thanks, Ana! How great that you had etiquette lessons and an Etiquette Dinner! What excellent preparation for life! 🙂
Thank you! I need to check some of these out.
My boys learnt to sign before they could talk and one thing another mom suggested was to teach please and thank you signs very early on. I did and it has carried over well. We still need to work on a few other things but for a pair of 2 year olds, I think they are doing fabulous.
Thanks, Chris! It sounds like your boys are doing wonderfully! It’s awesome that you taught them to sign please and thank you! 🙂
Oh wow! I’m so excited for these suggestions! I want to make sure that learning manners is a fun experience for our son… he has please, thank you and “welcome” down, but nothing like excuse me or please pass. Thanks for all the suggestions!!!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Laura! It sounds like your son is doing very well! Have fun! 🙂
I love the idea of using games to teach manners! I’ve never thought of that before. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind words, Kellie! 🙂
Wow! SO many games! Some of them are definitely ahead of our age range, I think, but what great resources. I love doing “Where is thumbkin” and I dig that Sticks & Stones game!
I bet the Walking on the Line game would be fun as Follow the Leader as well. Thanks for sharing all of these!
Thanks, Momma Jorje! I love that there are manners games you can do for pretty much any level! 🙂
This is a really awesome resource! My son is only 2 but I bet some of these would be great to try!! Thanks for all the links.
Thanks, Cassie! Games like walking on the line, the silence game, Where is Thumbkin, and some role play games would be perfect at that age! 🙂
Thank you for sharing all of these ideas! I think “walking on the line” would be a hit with my three little ones!
Thanks for your comment, Maryanne! Walking on the line is a lot of fun … I love activities that are both fun and great for building skills! 🙂
Wow! What a great list of games and ideas!! I really appreciate this. Thank you.
We’ll definitely have fun with some of these.
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Teresa! Have a great rest of the week! 🙂
What a fantastic resource you are, Deb! Thank you for compiling such an amazing list of games to help encourage grace and courtesy! I know the value of this work, being trained in some Montessori methods for my work with the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. . . but I never think that I can use it with my energetic little preschooler. You’ve given me a good reminder with this post. Thanks!
Thanks so much, Amy! It’s awesome that you’re working with Catechesis of the Good Shepherd! I have some posts about that and Godly Play, too: https://livingmontessorinow.com/category/montessori-based-religious-education/.
Well, technically, I was trained. . . worked as a Catechist for a short period at our church in Texas, and now am not a practicing Catechist any longer now that we’ve moved to Maine. The closest church that has CGS is an hour away. I’m still working on and praying over my album pages though. I LOVE the program. The training was so enlightening!
It’s such a beautiful program – and I can definitely understand praying over your album pages. Both my CGS and Godly Play trainings were like spiritual retreats! 🙂
You have such great ideas — thanks for compiling these for us! I was struck by how so many common songs and games can reinforce manners without our even thinking about it, like Where Is Thumbkin? or Mother, May I? I think I’ll try doing a variation of the Silence Game mixed with Simon Says, where Mikko has to hear what gentle commands I’m quietly giving him. If I can get Sam to play along, too, I think it could be really fun for all of us! I’m going to try walking on the line for us, too, because we could all use some help with poise. 🙂
Thanks for your kind comment, Lauren! And I LOVE your idea of doing a variation of the Silence Game mixed with Simon Says! Have fun! 🙂
Excellent Resource Deb! Oh how I wish I had known your website when I homeschooled! It’s fantastic!
I just found your very sweet comment, Shari Lynne! Thanks so much … and I hope everything is going well for you! 🙂
Wow, Deb – what a fabulous round up of ideas for teaching manners. Definitely something I’ll be returning to 🙂