I was lucky. I was a trained and experienced Montessori teacher before I had my first child. The Montessori principles I had used in my teaching naturally became a part of my parenting philosophy.
But following those principles also helped my children develop qualities I valued deeply.
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Here are some of those qualities and how following Montessori principles helped my now-adult children develop them.
(Note: Please excuse the quality of the photos from when my children were growing up. They’ve been around for awhile!)
Kindness
Christina (9 months), Terry, and Will (5). Montessori education encourages kindness and older children helping younger children. Here Will decided to introduce his baby sister to one of the Montessori geometric trays.
More than being successful, I wanted my children to be nice, kind people, both as children and adults. I had always appreciated the positive behavioral changes Montessori education brought about in children.
One of the main Montessori studies I used in my master’s dissertation was the 2006 study by Angeline Lillard and Nicole Else-Quest “Evaluating Montessori Education.” Social/behavioral measures of 5-year-old children showed that:
Montessori children were significantly more likely (43% versus 18% of responses) to use a higher level of reasoning by referring to justice or fairness. . . . Observations at the playground during recess indicated Montessori children were significantly more likely to be involved in positive shared peer play and significantly less likely to be involved in rough play that was ambiguous in intent (such as wrestling without smiling).
Social/behavioral measures of 12-year-old children showed that:
Montessori 12-year-olds were significantly more likely to choose the positive assertive response (for example, verbally expressing one’s hurt feelings to the host) [when read stories about social problems and asked to choose a response]. On a questionnaire regarding their feelings about school, Montessori children indicated having a greater sense of community, responding more positively to items such as, “Students in my class really care about each other” and “Students in this class treat each other with respect.”
Love of Learning
This was another quality that was essential to me. I’ve always valued learning, and I know that having a love of learning will help ensure success and enjoyment throughout life. If you’d like to see an awesome video about Montessori and love of learning, watch this video: Trevor Eissler “Montessori Madness!”
Competence and the Ability to be Successful
A Montessori foundation helped Christina have the concentration and self-confidence to complete and present a homeschool science fair project at age 4.
I wanted my children to have the skills necessary for success and the ability to tackle new tasks necessary for any career. Montessori education is known for helping individuals achieve their potential. Many famous people who were Montessori children (“Famous People Influenced by Montessori”) are known for their initiative, creativity, and self-confidence.
A Sense of Order
Montessori practical life activities especially help children develop a sense of order. In addition, Montessori environments are attractive and orderly and Montessori presentations follow an orderly series of steps, all of which helps the children internalize an external order.
Ability to Concentrate
Practical life activities help develop the ability to concentrate. Children also learn to concentrate by following their interests and sensitive periods, which leads to the repetition of activities and prolonged working at tasks – and the progressively longer ability to concentrate.
Persistence
Will’s Montessori foundation helped him at age 9 persist with a homeschool science fair project for over 8 hours, typing all the information independently.
Similar to the ability to concentrate, Montessori education is wonderful at developing persistence. I wrote more about this in Help Your Child Develop Persistence by Using Montessori Principles. [Note: To read more about our science fair experience, read Homeschool Science Fair Fun.]
Independence
This is an essential Montessori concept. Again, practical life activities help children develop independence. The Montessori approach helps children to help themselves.
No Education Burn-Out
I didn’t want my children to experience what I did in my schooling. I was a high-achieving perfectionist who was burned out from tests and grades before I ever started college. Even though I received all As during my bachelor’s degree, it took me 12 years and 4 universities to complete my bachelor’s degree after burning out over and over again (and taking time off from college after attending one or two semesters at a time).
I appreciated that Montessori education doesn’t use tests and grades but relies on the internal motivation of the child.
Academic Success
Even though I didn’t want my children to burn out, I still wanted them to be academically successful. As a Montessori teacher (and in observing children in Montessori elementary schools), I’d seen children working happily at very high levels of achievement.
The Results
Will’s and Christina’s University Graduation Photos
I’m happy to say that I see the qualities I hoped for in my children. As adults, Will (now 32) and Christina (now 27) are known as kind, successful individuals. They both have a better sense of order than I do, can concentrate well, and lived and functioned well independently before becoming happily married adults.
Will and Christina both loved their university experiences and were able to enjoy attending university full time straight through to graduation. They also both received straight As throughout their bachelor’s degrees. And they still love learning! Will and Christina are always busily involved in new learning and projects, never worrying about being bored.
So, without a doubt, I’m very happy I used Montessori principles in my parenting philosophy! 🙂
Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy!
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Wow, every time I read an article by you, I want to learn more and more about Montessori and put more into practice! Sometimes I get overwhelmed about where to start. Do you think I could find a local Montessori tutor? 🙂 I relish the idea of having my kids be more ordered than I am (sigh), and my husband and I really hope they’ll be a lot less consumed with grades than we were.
Thanks so much, Lauren! I’d never really thought about local Montessori tutors – but there probably are trained Montessori teachers out there willing to do something like that. I definitely loved Montessori for easily giving my kids some traits (and lack of stress) that would have been hard to do without Montessori.
Wow, this awesome. I’ll be up to my ears in checking out the philosophies you cited below. I was also an overachieving, perfectionist. I burned out at the start of college. With the poor grades came an identity crisis. Eventually, I was able to pick myself up by the bootstraps and re-orientate myself and with that I accomplished my educational goals. Right now, instead of achieving, I’m focused on developing into the best person I can be and I want the same for my children. I also want my kids to have all the success I had and then some, but without all the emotional baggage. Montessori seemed to be the perfect philosophy to accomplish my goal. I thank God for having found it and the wonderful community in tow. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for your comment, Tiana! We overachieving perfectionists have to stick together! I’m so glad you discovered Montessori, too! 🙂
This is great! I have been mulling through the different schools available in my area (I can’t believe it’s time to start considering preschools! Gah!) and am definitely weighing heavy towards sending him to one of the Montessorri schools in my area. I love the philosophies that it brings to the table and have heard so many success stories of it helping to create wonderful, well-rounded people! Your children seem lovely and it’s obvious that all of these principles helped to shape them into who they are today : )
Thanks for your kind comment, Ana! I LOVE Montessori schools … of course, the school and teachers have to be a good match for your child. Montessori schools can vary a lot. You might find this helpful: https://livingmontessorinow.com/2010/05/20/how-to-choose-a-montessori-preschool-for-your-child/.
I love reading outcomes of some of the parenting practices I am consciously using right now. It’s important to me to know that the way I am raising my child will actually lead to positive results in the future. By the way – I hope you’re planning a book on Montessori + parenting. 🙂
Thanks, Dionna! I actually do have an eBook that should be out this year, although this one is Montessori at Home or School: How to Teach Grace and Courtesy. I’ll have to add Montessori + parenting to the list! I really appreciate your encouragement! 🙂
How awesome to see one of these carnival posts from the other end of the tunnel, so to speak. It is great to see that everything worked out just as well as you hoped and planned! Great work!
Thanks so much! It really is fun to look back and see in retrospect how everything came together. I loved the short-term results I’d seen from my experience in Montessori schools, but it wasn’t until my own children were adults that I actually got to see the long-term results.
Well Deb, that has to be the most convincing article I have ever read about Montessori Learning. I am so intrigued by it, but just not sure how it “looks”. Does that make sense? Mostly because I have never taken the time to study it. Classical education memorized me and so that is what I have always done, but this looks so tempting 🙂 Great post! Stopping by from HHH 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind words, Tammy! It really is easy to add Montessori principles to any family, regardless of your general educational orientation. You might find this article helpful: https://livingmontessorinow.com/2011/04/26/how-can-montessori-fit-into-your-family/. 🙂
That was supposed to say mesmerized! Haha
🙂
My mom is also a Montessori educator, and I think I turned out great 😉 I adore the Montessori philosophy, having experienced it both as a young child and as a catechist in the Montessori-based Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium. This post inspires me to definitely pursue Montessori education for our almost three year old – as soon as we can afford to. Thank you for such an awesome post!
Thanks so much, Amy! How wonderful that you were both a Montessori child and a catechist! I’m sure you’re naturally following lots of Montessori principles already! 🙂
I think you should come live in my house.
I am so drawn to the Montessori approach, but having no training in it find it daunting to take on myself. Putting my children into a Montessori school is theoretically possible but slightly cost prohibitive. But, I want this for them or at least something relative to this. Everything you mentioned is something I too value, especially love of learning. I never want a school to squash that for them and I hope it never happens. Scratch that..I won’t let it happen because I believe that they will embody all the characteristics you listed here. I will see to it!
Thanks, Amanda! Fortunately, there are lots of things you can easily do at home whether or not your children are enrolled in a Montessori school. There are many links in this post leading to different options: https://livingmontessorinow.com/2011/04/26/how-can-montessori-fit-into-your-family/. 🙂
Success without burnout — what a radical idea! But so many of the Montessori principles you include here explain how success without burnout is possible: ability to concentrate, persistence, independence.
And I agree with Jorje — it really is lovely to see how these principles worked out for your children!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Rachael! 🙂
I can hardly believe how timely this is for me! Thank you, thank you. I have been pondering my natural strengths and weaknesses and how I pass them on to my children, and wondering how to balance the weaknesses. Montessori methods, especially with the benefits you list, seem promising for the purpose.
Thanks, Kristy! I’m so happy the timing was right! 🙂
I love Montessori methods. I studied them briefly in my Educational Philosophy class in my undergrad studies and I fell absolutely in love with Maria Montessori. You are right that her methods are an excellent guide for parents to raise their children. Child-centered education begins at home. Thank you for sharing
Thanks so much, Shannon! Totally agree that “child-centered education begins at home.”
This reminds me that I forgot to add an important practice to my UP “starter kit” list: phasing in of Montessori-inspired activities. I’ve read only a little about Montessori and I am hooked! The video actually gave me goosebumps because I was so excited. It looks like you have great resources and info here. I look forward to reading much more!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Sylvia! I’ll look forward to getting to know you better! 🙂
I attended a Montessori school as a child and have brought so many of the principles into my parenting style – it was great to read how this has positively impacted your children as they have grown!
You have so many great things to share – thank you!
Thanks so much, Ariadne! How wonderful that you were a Montessori child! I’m sure that’s affected your parenting style both consciously and unconsciously in many positive ways! 🙂
Another beautiful and heart warming post – thanks so much for sharing all your wisdom. Your family are beautiful and successful and you must be one proud mama – all power to you 🙂
Thanks so much for your very kind comment, Mrs Green! I am unspeakably proud of my kids! 🙂
What a wonderful article Deb! A great window into your life and the practical application of Montessori principles. Thanks for sharing this. I’ve linked it in the new edition.
Thanks so much for your kind comment, John! And thanks for linking to my post in your new edition! 🙂
I too am a big fan of Maria Montessori. It would be great if the Montessori philosophy were implemented across the board in the public school system. I believe the Montessori philosophy nurtures talent and fosters a life-long love for learning. I can also relate to the burnout. I flew through my BS in Human Services the first 3 years with A’s but slacked off in the last year. Now I have about 7 online classes left to take to complete my master’s and I’m really struggling.
Thanks, Jason! I totally agree that it would be great if Montessori philosophy were implemented widely in public schools, too.
Hi Deb,
It’s always great to see how Montessori practices helps us parents be better at caring for our child. I’ve also tried to implement some of the principles, but I can’t tell if there are any noticeable results yet. Do you have any advice for someone like me who’s willing to try this but is not so knowledgeable?
Thanks,
-Jenny
Hi Deb,
This article was so interesting. I live in Spain, where Montessori schools are pretty hard to come by, and I wasn’t really aware of all the benefits either. Since we can’t really access a school where Montessori principles are taught, I would like to learn more about it so I can instill them in my kids. I’m so glad to have found this resource!
Great post. Thanks for sharing