I didn’t think of myself as a role model when I was raising my children. I was just trying to do the best for my family. But somehow along the way, I found people liking what they saw with my family and asking how we did it. I have to largely attribute what we did as natural parenting.
Christina and Will are now 20 and 25, but my husband and I applied a lot of natural parenting principles. Here are what I consider the top 3 principles I used.
1. I applied “natural” whenever possible when my children were infants and toddlers. This actually covers a lot of principles. I breastfed each of my children until they were 2 years old, emphasized babywearing, used cloth diapers, made homemade baby food, and used mainly natural fabrics.
2. I used Montessori principles that encouraged my children’s independence and freedom to explore. I consider these Montessori principles natural parenting because they meet the child’s natural, inner needs. I was lucky to attend a Montessori conference emphasizing infants and toddlers before Will was born. From what I learned, I baby proofed and set up a room (our living room) in which Will could freely explore even as an infant.
I purchased a full-length mirror from a preschool supply company and placed it horizontally on the floor so that Will could gain an understanding of himself and his actions. I had his toys on low shelves on the floor so that he could freely move around and choose what he wanted to play with.
I did the same thing when Christina was an infant. For both Will and Christina, I used Montessori methods to teach them how to do things themselves so that they had a sense of self-respect and independence as toddlers and preschoolers.
3. I homeschooled my children through high school. I think I had the most influence on others with my homeschooling example. It just worked so well for my family. My children were figure skaters during most of their school years. Homeschooling gave us the opportunity to individualize our children’s education, work around their skating schedule, spend lots of time together, and travel as a family.
We used a combination of Montessori education and unit studies (we used KONOS all the way through high school), along with a few traditional subjects. We adapted our unit studies to emphasize reading together (which we always loved) and discovery learning (which was consistent with Montessori concepts). This worked perfectly for us.
My children still appreciate that they were homeschooled. And they only turned out for the better as a result of homeschooling. Will and Christina both have bachelor’s degrees and successful careers. They both love learning and have an entrepreneurial spirit. They’re both well adjusted and able to get along with all sorts of people. They’re both happily married. Even though Christina and her husband live in England and Will and his wife live in San Diego, our family is still close. Probably the favorite thing for all of us is when we can spend time together.
So natural parenting does work. At least it certainly worked for us. And I think that’s what natural parenting really should be about—finding what works naturally for you and your family.
Preparing Montessori Spaces in Your Home
See “How to Create a Montessori-Friendly Home” for ideas for a number of levels. Here are some of my main home environment posts:
- How to Prepare a Montessori Baby Room at Home (roundup post)
- How to Prepare a Montessori Toddler Environment at Home (roundup post)
- Preparing a Montessori Newborn Baby Space at Home
- How to Use Montessori Mobiles to Encourage a Newborn Baby’s Development and Delight
- Preparing a Montessori Baby Space with Shelves at Home
- Preparing a Montessori Baby Space in Your Living Room
- Preparing a Montessori Baby-Toddler Space at Home
- Preparing Montessori Toddler Spaces at Home
- How to Prepare Montessori Shelves for a 2 Year Old
- How to Prepare Montessori Shelves for a 2½ Year Old
- How to Prepare Montessori Shelves for a 3 Year Old
- How to Prepare Montessori Shelves for a 3½ Year Old
- How to Prepare Montessori Shelves for a 4 Year Old
- How to Prepare Montessori Shelves for a 4½ Year Old
- How to Prepare a Montessori Home Environment for Afterschooling
- Create an Attractive Home Environment from Montessori at Home!
- How to Set Up a Montessori Homeschool Classroom
Jo Ebisujima and I have a free Montessori at home webinar and introduction to our Montessori Crash Course.
What natural parenting principles work best for you and your family?
Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy! I’m also one of the coauthors of the book Learn with Play – 150+ Activities for Year-round Fun & Learning!
The Montessori at Home! eBook and Montessori at Home! eBook and Materials Bundle are AMAZING resources! You can learn more about them here. Buy them in the Living Montessori Now shop.
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This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama with the theme Role Model. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Woman Seeking Inspiration — Seeking Mother’s struggles and joys to find her own path in motherhood have inspired others — to her surprise! (@seekingmother )
- Paving the Way — Jessica at This is Worthwhile makes a conscious effort every day to be a role model. (@tisworthwhile )
- No Rules Without Reason — The Recovering Procrastinator wants to inspire her husband to discipline their children gently. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Creating a Culture of Positive Parenting Role Models — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shows parents at the playground how to do a front wrap cross carry and tells nurses about her successful home births, as a way of modeling natural parenting in public. (@TheParentVortex)
- Making A Difference for Mamas — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest took an embarrassing pumping incident at work and turned it into an opportunity for all the employees who breastfeed.
- Inspiring Snowflakes — Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch Momma is a role model for the most important people: her children. (@kitchenwitch)
- Paying it Forward — Amber at Strocel.com inspires new (and often scared) mamas with these simple words: “It will be OK.” (@AmberStrocel)
- A SAHD’s View on Parenting Role Models — Chris at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing doesn’t have many role models as a SAHD — but hopes to be one to his daughter. (@tessasdad)
- Am I a Role Model? A Review — Deb at Science@home brings attachment parenting out of the baby age and shows how it applies (with science fun!) to parenting through all of childhood. (@ScienceMum)
- Say Something Good — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick reminds women that it is within our right to be proud of ourselves without apology. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Try, Try Again — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis wants to inspire like the Little Engine that Could.
- I’m a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew? — Sarah at OneStarryNight has received several beautiful comments about just what an inspiration she has been, if not in real life then definitely online. (@starrymom)
- That Little Thing — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing demonstrates the ripple effect, one status update at a time. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
- How Has Your Day Been? — mrs green @ littlegreenblog inspired her friend to be an active listener for her children. (@myzerowaste)
- No, Thank You! — If you are reading Maman A Droit’s post, you’ve probably inspired her. (@MamanADroit)
- My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now describes how her family’s natural and Montessori principles inspired others. (@DebChitwood)
- My Hope for a Better Life — Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children hopes her choices inspire her children toward a better life.
- Natural Parenting Felt Natural — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes didn’t plan on natural parenting — but her son led her there. (@sheryljesin)
- Rest. Is it even possible? — Janet at where birth and feminism intersect has found that even role models need rest — and that there are ways to fit it into everyday parenting life. (@feministbirther)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model — Lauren at Hobo Mama was the fortunate recipient of a seed of inspiration, and has been privileged to plant some of those seeds herself, though she didn’t know it at the time. (@Hobo_Mama)
- crunchspiration — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts wants to inspire others to parent from their heart. (@thegrumbles)
- No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn’t think she inspires anyone and wasn’t inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak)
- Upstream Parenting — Luschka at Diary of a First Child blogs for that one mother in one hundred who will find her words helpful. (@diaryfirstchild)
- Parenting Advice for the Girl from Outer Space — If Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup could give one piece of inspirational advice to new parents, it would be to parent with kindness. (@MommySoup)
- Natural Parenting Carnival — Role Model — Sarah at Consider Eden feels the pressure at trying — and failing — to live up to her role models. (@ConsiderEden)
- May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model — Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages natural parenting mamas to take joy in the fact that they are touching lives and making a difference to children every day. (@CodeNameMama)
- Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she’s received prove it’s so. (@bfmom)
- My Seven — Danielle at born.in.japan has identified seven role models in her life who brought her to natural parenting. Who are your seven? (@borninjp)
- A Quiet Example — Alison at BluebirdMama was one of the first parents in her group of friends — and has come to see almost all those friends follow in her natural birthing footsteps, whether intentionally or not.
- Gentle Discipline Warrior — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has inspired a gentle discipline movement — join her! (@babydust)
- Change The World… One Parent At A Time — Mamapoekie is more comfortable inspiring parents online than she is in real life. (@mamapoekie)
- Inspirational Parenting — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has intentionally tried to be a role model but was unprepared for how soon someone would take notice. (@pchanner)
- My Inspiration — Erin at A Beatnik’s Beat on Life has written thank-you letters to everyone who’s inspired her to become the lactivist and natural parenting advocate she is today. (@babybeatnik)
hobomama says
Oh, man, I love having the inspiration of a mama who's come through the other side and can testify that these ways do work! You are a definite role model to me. I really need to read more about Montessori organizational and educational principles, because what I have heard really resonates with me. I'd like for my son to take ownership of his (safe) environment and learn some more skills that way. For instance, I think I'll put up a low hook so he can hang up his own coat. Small start, but it's something, right? Thank you for the inspiration!
Dionna says
I love hearing the perspective of NP/homeschooling parents with older kids (and, actually, of older kids/adults who were brought up this way). It's easy for me sometimes to lose sight of the long-term in the midst of parenting my toddler. 🙂
Deb Chitwood says
The time goes by so fast! It really does seem like yesterday. It’s so great that you’re blogging about your experiences at the time. Of course, it is fun remembering . . .
Deb Chitwood says
Thanks for your kind words. That sounds like a great start with your son! Children really pick up on anything that helps them be independent. What you’re doing all around is wonderful!
Melodie says
I'm right in the middle of trying to figure out what works best for my family. Actually I'm not in the middle at all, I'm right at the beginning. I think my daughter may need to be home schooled and now that we are moving it might be the best time to really figure this out. I have also found a school that is so tiny it might work for her too (3-4 kids per grade). Now I just need to figure out how to work it around whatever I'm going to do. I really liked this post. Thanks!
babydustdiaries says
How wonderful to hear a success story! It makes me feel good to know that I'm doing something that worked well for someone else. We are amazingly similar! My living room is just the way you described. Aellyn LOVES the mirror I can't believe how much she learns from watching herself!
Amber says
It's fabulous to hear from the parent of adult children, and to see how natural parenting has paid off. Thank you so much for that!
As the parent of much younger children, I think that trying to approach parenting with respect has been critical for me. It guides my parenting choices and my day-to-day interactions. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying and I like to think that will make the difference in the long run.
Sarah says
LOVE your post and the photos! How were you able to baby-proof a whole room? I LOVE that concept!
Deb Chitwood says
Thanks so much, Melodie! I really think each family has its own unique educational path whether it’s homeschool, small school, Montessori school, or traditional school. Wishing you the best in finding what’s right for you and your family.
Deb Chitwood says
I’ll love getting to know you better! I miss those days with the baby mirror. My babies had so much fun watching themselves, and I had so much fun watching them.
Deb Chitwood says
Thank you, Amber! It sounds like you’re doing a great job. I’ve really seen the results of treating children with respect. It’s amazing how much difference it makes for both parents and children.
Deb Chitwood says
Thanks so much, Sarah! Actually, baby proofing a whole room wasn’t that difficult, since our living room was quite small! The main thing was putting up a barrier between that room and the rest of the house. I also baby proofed another room with a mat on the floor and low shelves that became a bedroom/playroom when my son was a little older.
NavelgazingBajan says
I'm at the stage where the need to baby-proof is becoming more and more apparent every day. I love watching my son explore and enjoy his growing independence from me. I'm going to look into those Montessori methods you mentioned.
Deb Chitwood says
Montessori is best known for preschool education, but I really love the Montessori ideas for infants and toddlers. It's amazing to watch babies when they have the freedom to safely explore their environment.
Luschka says
I love the idea of the mirror in the play area. I will look in to that. I am also considering homeschooling. I have some time yet to think about it, but it just feels right. Thanks for sounding so confident, it is inspiring!
Deb Chitwood says
Thank you! There are some great homeschool conferences that are wonderful to attend while you're still considering homeschooling (and while you're homeschooling). I used to attend the Christian Home Educators of Colorado convention that was held in Denver each June. It was always a fantastic learning and support experience. Most, if not all, states have some sort of homeschool convention.
Candi Elm says
I wish I would have done things differently with my children. But you do what you can at the time. Thanks for sharing some resourses.
Deb says
Thanks for your comment, Candi! The great thing is that children can turn out wonderfully with lots of love alone. Anything positive we do on top of that is a bonus! 🙂