Best Children’s Books about the Death of a Pet

My daughter’s cat (and our family’s cat), Caressa, died on Tuesday. Caressa was 15 years old, had lymphoma, and lived two years longer than the vet initially expected. But still, it was sad … and is sad. Even though Caressa didn’t live with my 2-year-old granddaughter, Zoey (Caressa lived with my daughter, Christina, and her husband, Tom), Zoey loved Caressa. So I needed to explain Caressa’s death to Zoey in the best way possible. I like to use books to discuss difficult topics with children, so I used some special children’s books to help Zoey understand a bit about the death of a pet.

Talking with Children about Death and the Very Best Children’s Book about Death

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I used my educational training to explain Caressa’s death honestly and without euphamisms. Then we read books and looked at the “I Remember Caressa” book I had prepared for Zoey with photos of her holding and petting Caressa. I used ideas and the printable from an earlier post of mine on “Talking with Children about Death: Creating an ‘I Remember’ Book.”

Even though that post and free printable focused on the death of a relative or other loved one, It can be used for the death of a loved pet as well. I prepared the book myself because of Zoey’s age, although an older child could have a large role in the book’s creation.

With many children, you might want to create a special book using a company like Mixbook or Tiny Prints/Shutterfly. The book you create yourself (or with your child) will be the very best children’s book about death.

Life and Death Nature Tray with Pet Loss Books

It was interesting that the Montessori nature tray with magnification work and flower arranging that Zoey and I had recently prepared after our nature walk included a natural experiment and observation about what flowers need to live.

By now, the tray included a basket with dead blossoms along with the magnification and observation work. So I kept that on a shelf with my favorite books about pet loss for a toddler or young preschooler. The purple book is her personalized “I Remember Caressa” photo book.

Best Children’s Books about the Death of a Pet

When I discuss the books here, I’ll make some comments about the theology (or omission of theology) of a particular book. It’s important for you as a parent to know if a book fits with your beliefs or if it doesn’t include ideas about life after death so that you can add your own. I’ll also include some comments about whether the books are Montessori friendly (contain photos or realistic images and could have happened if they’re fiction).

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen is simply lovely. It’s a beautifully illustrated, Montessori-friendly (with realistic images) book about lifetimes of a variety of plants and animals. It’s a wonderful book to use anytime you want to help children understand death … whether it’s the death of an insect, a pet, or an elderly person. It can be used for a wide variety of ages. (Recommended for kindergarten – grade 3). For toddlers, you might need to paraphrase or use only some of the words. It doesn’t add theology, so you can include your own beliefs about what happens when an animal or person dies.

I make one change when I read the book, though. I’m 60, my husband is 68, and my parents are in their 80s. The book says: “Well, like everything else that is alive, people have lifetimes, too. They live for about sixty or seventy years, sometimes even longer, doing all the things that people do like growing up and being grown up.” Instead, I say: “They live for about eighty or ninety years, sometimes even longer….” Use whatever ages you’re comfortable with.

For a young child dealing with a difficult issue, it’s hard to beat books by Fred Rogers. Yes, they’re from the 1980s, and the pictures are dated. But they’re very Montessori friendly with real photographs and the wisdom of Mister Rogers in helping young children cope with difficult situations. When a Pet Dies is an easily understood look at pets and pet loss. It tells that there may be a burial and funeral, but no theology is included. You can add your own beliefs about what happens when a pet dies. (Recommended for preschool – grade 3.)

I love I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm. This books is in my category of Montessori-friendly fiction (for the most part) … it has realistic images and could be real (except for the last picture, which has lots of smiling animals). What I especially love about this book is that it tells the importance of saying “I love you” or “I’ll always love you” every night. When the boy’s dog has grown old and died during the night, the boy says: “I was very sad, too, but it helped to remember that I had told her every night, ‘I’ll always love you.'” (Recommended for preschool – grade 2.)

The Day Tiger Rose Said Goodbye by Jane Yolen (author of the fabulous Owl Moon) is another lovely book about an animal that gets old and dies naturally. Tiger Rose does talk to the animals as she says goodbye, so you’ll have to decide how realistic you need your children’s books to be. My daughter’s cat, Caressa, was more active than normal the day before she died and walked all around the house as if she said goodbye to the house and her two cat housemates. So this book has a lot of truth.

In the book, Tiger Rose goes off by herself to die, which is very common for animals. Caressa stayed around to be loved and petted as she died, but she could easily have gone off by herself (as we’ve had some pets do). This is a nice book for helping children understand that being alone is a normal thing for an animal to do when it dies. At the very end of the book, when Tiger Rose dies, she goes up “into the luminous blue sky. She never once looked back as she climbed away from life, leaving her old and tired body behind. Up and up and up she went, and then she was gone, now part of the earth, the air, the sky, the sun – and all.” (Recommended for ages 4-8.)

Cat Heaven by Cynthia Rylant couldn’t be considered a Montessori-style book with its images of cat heaven. But it’s a sweet, reassuring story for kids (and adults) who’ve lost a pet cat. God is seen as a white-haired man with a mustache who lovingly cares for the cats, even walking in his garden with a “kitty asleep on his head.” I love that Cat Heaven is a multicultural-friendly book. God’s skin is different colors on different pages, and the angels are multicultural, too. This book is obviously best for families who believe in God, angels, and heaven for animals. There’s also a similar Dog Heaven by Cynthia Ryland. (Recommended for ages 4-7.)

Saying Goodbye to Lulu by Corrine Demas is a Montessori-friendly book with realistic images about a dog who grows old, dies, and is missed terribly by a young girl. The girl grows to accept Lulu’s death at the end but has a difficult time for quite awhile. Because of the difficulty the girl has, I wouldn’t recommend this book for toddlers or young preschoolers. It would be especially good for a child who’s having difficulty handling a pet’s death. The book doesn’t discuss afterlife, so you can add your own beliefs. (Recommended for preschool – grade 2.)

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst is a children’s book classic which is Montessori-friendly with realistic images and a story that could be real. It’s beautifully written. While the book leaves religious interpretation open for discussion, there is a question by the father (and an argument by the boy) that “we can’t be absolutely sure” that heaven is there. To me, the book gives a greater weight to the idea that there isn’t heaven. I would prefer it the other way, but you have to decide what you’re most comfortable with. Either way, you can definitely have a theological discussion with your child after reading the book. (Recommended for ages 6-9, although it’s often read to preschoolers.)

“The Rainbow Bridge” poem is very popular for a variety of ages, and The Rainbow Bridge: A Visit to Pet Paradise by Adrian Raeside is a popular book. I wouldn’t recommend it for most preschoolers with its cartoon images and rather long, fanciful story. For older children, it could be a fun, comforting book. (Recommended for ages 8-12.)

For Every Cat an Angel or For Every Dog an Angel by Christine Davis sounds like a book for Christian children. It’s actually a book for adults and older children who have a belief in past lives. Adults and families with those beliefs would probably love this book when a very special pet dies.

“Rainbow Bridge” Free Printable Poem {Pet Loss}

At Bits of Positivity (my other blog), I have a free printable of the “Rainbow Bridge” prose poem for anyone who would like that. It’s available in a higher resolution image without watermark for printing.

Wishing you and your family comfort if you’ve experienced the death of a beloved pet.

Learn more about my eBook Montessori at Home or School: How to. Teach Grace and Courtesy!

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